What's on my heart!!!!!!!

I'm just sitting here balling my eyes out, I can barely see to type, but that's okay. My heart is just in sooooo much pain to see my big sis sad at all, but I know it's for a very valid reason. I love her sooooo dearly!!!!!!!! Though my heart aches right now cuz of the drama I am dealing with soooo many people that really don't mean anything to me but that they are someone else who just wants to make my life a whole lot crappier for me.....God knows that first and foremost I treasure my big sis as GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS SOOOO MUCH MORE AMAZING than anyone I could ever dream of meeting!!!!!!!! She helps me in more ways than it is even possible!!!!!!!!! SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!!! Oh I pray, LORD, that you would take her pain away and give her peace!!!!!!!!!!!!! She doesn't deserve this pain at all!!!!!!!!! Help her to grow stronger in this, and not get taken down and depressed!!!!!!!!! Please wrap your arms around her and protect her!!!!!!!!!! Please show her your love and mighty hand!!!!!!!!!! Please direct her and guide her, and show her your wonderful plan for her life!!!!!!!!!!! OH LORD, I PLEAD!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, LORD, I'm overtaken with emotion.........GOD, YOU NEVER GIVE UP ON US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh GOD, YOUR SOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M JUST SWAMPED IN TEARS OVER YOUR AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CRY OUT TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOUGH, I AM WEAK, YOU ARE STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR MIGHTY HAND IS OVER EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE LORD, HOLD MY BIG SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SOOOOO WORRIED ABOUT HER!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( THANK YOU, GOD, FOR HER!!!!!!!!!!! WITH YOU I OVERCOME FEAR!!!!!!!!!!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD, THANKS SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND BIG SIS, YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MATTER HOW FAR APART WE GET!!!!!!!!!!! :'( Oh, it kills me, but i trust God will keep you safe!!!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Well it's almost midnight so i better get to my homework, and I gotta get to hugging on my bears or I will never get to sleep. Oh, Lord, I'm sooooo overcome with emotion!!!!!!!!!!

KATIE LOWE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD IT GET ANY BETTER?????? :D

doesn't he look AMAZZZZZING!!!!!!! ;D

Okay so I know its been forever, but who cares. I aint got time for this everyday ;) anyway ive been sick all day, feeling like crap, laying in bed, being sooooo cranky and complaining about everything. The stress has reached it limit, but somehow I gotta look past it or I'm gonna be a mess and a total jerk to others. Why be sooooo selfish???? Just totally not worth it. Well anyway God put this song in my head on the way to work....and I was singing it the whole time, waiting to look it up when I got home. But it reminds me of my MOST AMAZING FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY AWESOME BIG SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one could mean anymore to me!!!!! Cuz no one on this earth has meant sooooo much to me and been in my heart for sooooo long!!!!!! and no one really knows how many times I have begged for this person (a sister), someone who loves me, sacrifices a lot for me, cares about me, and does her best to help me in everything.....someone who makes me feel special and worth something!!!!!!!! SOOOOO MUCH MORE THAN A FRIEND COULD EVER GIVE ME!!!!!!!!! I could never ask for more. Though I have been such a jerk lately and have gotten sooooo selfish cuz of all the emotions i have been feeling I still know I have her to turn to no matter how many times I tell myself that I cant. But she still believes in me!!!!!!!!!! THANKS SOOOOOOO STINKIN MUCH KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......DANG IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't get the video to load but here are the lyrics (look it up on you tube).....


Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand the way we feel
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time I know
When destiny calls you
You must be strong cause
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know

We'll show them together cause
you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more
Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always

Always yes i'll be with you.
cause i'll be there for you
always always and always
just look over your shoulder
just look over your shoulder
just look over your shoulder
i'll be there for you always always

P.S. lol. I know its from Tarzan.....but its awesome just the same!!!!! :D

I dedicate this song to you!!!!!!! You are such a blessing to me, Katie!!!!!! LUV U SOOOOOOO MUCH BIG SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART, NO MATTER HOW FAR WE GET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU AND CHERISH YOU FOREVER IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! U'VE IMPACTED ME IN SOOOOOO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! I COULD NEVER EXPRESS HOW THANKFUL I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I COULD NEVER EXPRESS HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HOW MUCH U HAVE BLESSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR THE BESTEST!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!