CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN WILL IT EVER STOP???? I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS EMOTIONAL!!!!

Well another HARD night for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now that I have NO ONE to talk to!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that I should journal and releave some stuff that I am holding inside!!!!!!!! :( I HAVE BEEN SUCH A JERK TODAY!!!!!!!!! I just go around like a complete idiot!!!!! Not saying anything to anyone. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMETHING IS WRONG, But I don't know what anymore!!!!!!!!!! :( I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN HOLD ME AND WHO I CAN CRY IT ALL OUT WITH!!!!!!!! My emotions are to their fullest!!!!!!!! :( And I don't know what to do. I KNOW. I am too wordly, emotional, dramatic, over-reacting, etc. I'VE HEARD IT A MILLION TIMES!!!!!!!!! I'm too sensitive, easily hurt, and a dig load of drama. Well then what is my purpose. I've tried everything!!!!!!!! I've opened up with my parents, made everything right with Dustin and the whole foster family, tried my best to get along with all the people at church and school!!!!!!!!!! And been here for tons of girls at school to help them in their problems and what do i get???? A cold shoulder, slap in the face, and made fun of!!!!!!!!!! :'( :'( :'( When will they ever understand???????? I'VE SACRIFICED SOOO MUCH FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!! And I can't even be assured that we are still friends, let alone a shoulder to cry on!!!!!!!! And now I have to go through another day of seeing them in the halls and endure the rude jokes and mean comments!!!!!! I'VE LET THEM TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, given them soo many things of mine!!!!! And all they want is more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I never be serious with anyone???????? Can I never express my feelings?????? Should I just put on a smile everyday!!!!!! EVEN WHEN I FEEL LIKE CRAP!!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?????????????? Do I have any true friends?????? :'( Well I'm not allowed to be on here anymore!!!!!!!!! :( I have to go do my homework!!!!!!! EVEN IF IT IS MIDNIGHT!!!!!!!!! :( I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE STRENGTH!!!!!!! I HAVE CRIED ALL MY TEARS OUT, BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE CRYING!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TONS MORE TO SHARE, BUT IM JUST A SELFISH BRAT!!!!!!!! :( LUV YA SOOOOO MUCH, KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE!!!!!!!!! It's VERY PERSONAL, but it is truly how I feel!!!!!!!! IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW CHRIST IS THE ANSWER, but I've been praying and praying and trying to solve the problems as best as I can!!!!!!!!! BUT IT'S NOT WORKING!!!!!!!!!! NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!!!!!