OVERWHELMED!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!! :(

Well it's been awhile since I have updated this!!!!!!!!! but it's for a reason. FEELINGS!!!!!!!!! Ain't it great!!!!!!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!! Well I LOVE ALAINA, SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't get her to understand!!!!!!! Me and Mary got in tons of trouble on Sunday!!!!!!! I'm still soooo mad at myself for that!!!!!!!! :( I ended it with Dustin on Monday!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully that will calm down and settle!!!!!!!!!! And after all this crap with school, friends, and whatever other stuff!!!!!!!!!! I AM SICK!!!!!!!!! :( Ache all over, horrible head ache, tummy ache, and congestion!!!!!!!!! FATIGUE, man it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TONS OF FREAKEN HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!! Why do they have to pile it on? Amy gave me my birthday present tonight :) She is sooo sweet!!!!!!!!! The card rocks!!!!!!!! :) I LOVE MRS. LOWE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!! SHE HAS BEEN THERE 4 ME THROUGH IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed her all along!!!!!!!!!! I am sooo grateful for her. I don't know what I would do without her!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!! She has surgery tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! I feel soooo bad for her!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me cry!!!!!!!!!! :( Well there is more, but I got to get bed!!!!!!!! Overwhelmedness is taking control. My birthday is in two days!!!!!!!!!! Hope things are better by then, but we will have to see!!!!!!!!!! I hope and pray I will just trust the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let the Tears Flow!!!

Today has been an extremely emotional and hard day for me!!!!! Idk why. I'm just sooo overwhelmed with everything going on. I'm sooo indecisive on my relationship with dustin!!!!!!!!!!! I am only in the friendship cause I feel sorry for him!!!!!!! But I don't want to leave him hanging!!!!!!!! And as far as we have gotten it would be extremely hard for me to end it. So either way I go now, I'm stuck!!!!!!! :( I have been crying for the past two hours!!!!! :( But Alaina heard about it and gave me a call. So at least I got to talk to her although she probably hardly understood me I was crying so hard. It had been awhile. And she is not mad at me praise the Lord!!!!! But both her and Mary assured me they love me and our praying for me!!!!! That is really nice to know!!!!!!!!! D talked to me today too and seemed pretty mad at me cause I haven't talked to him in awhile and told me I should calm down. But he doesn't know what he is talking about. The more I calmed down the less joy I had and the more sad I got!!! :( So that also made my day harder!!!!!!!!!! With all this and lack of sleep, I was not really able to focus on school work today!!!!!! Which means tons of homework!!!!! :( Dustin is also worried about me. UGH!!!!!!!! I hope Mrs. Lowe is feeling better!!!!!!! She has had an extremely hard week. Just like me!!!!!!! I feel sooo bad for her!!!!! It's soo cool to see how much we are alike though!!!!!! I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Basketball practice was pretty fun surprisingly tonight. But I have a game tomorrow and a really busy weekend ahead!!!!!!! Next weekend is my birthday!!!!!!!! So yeah!!!!!! That's mostly what's been on my mind lately!!!!!!! Have a great day and a Wonderful weekend!!!!!!!!! LOVE, LP!!!!!!!!!!! :) Shine for JESUS!!!!!!!!! :) Psalm 30:5

P.S. This note might be a little messed up here and there cause I have had to retype it three times cause my computer kept messing up!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS ON MY HEART!!!!!

HEY AGAIN,
I have sooo much on my heart I just want to pour out!!!!!!!!!! I am soo overwhelmed right now. Ugh basketball is getting sooo stressful and tiring and painful. I just want to quit!!! Lord, help me stick with it. I know you put me in it for a reason!!!!! And I just don't understand who are my real friends and who aren't. Alaina is sweet to me one day and not the next! I want to be here for her all the time but everytime I want to talk something out she says she doesn't want to talk about it or I complain too much. But I love her sooo much and never want to lose her!!!!! I always worry I will though :( Faithy, I am sooo glad we have become soo close!!!!! I remember last year when I had absolutely NO true or close friends!!!!!! I was sooo lonely! She has been the best BFF!!!!!!! I love her sooo much!!! And we have sooo much fun together!!! I feel like she is ALWAYS there for me!!!!!!!! No matter what!!!!! And I think she feels the same way. PTL!!!!! And Jennifer, I thank you sooo much for her, Lord!!!!!!! She has been with me through and through even though I don't always maintain a consistent relationship with her. She still feels we are as close as sisters!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!! And thanks for all my other friends!!!!!!! Ugh. Lord, please help all my aches and pains to subside!!!!!!! And help me on my tons of homework!!!!!!!! AND Lord most of all please help me and give me wisdom with Dustin!!!!!! He has made life sooo hard for me, but something in me Lord just makes me want to still be a friend to him!!!! HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT!!!!!!! :( Help me to figure out what is wrong with my car as well!!!!!! Please give me guidance on what to do for my sweet sixteen!!!!!!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR MY WONDERFUL NEW FRIEND, Katie!!!!!!!! You have helped me pour my heart out to her in ways I have never been able to with anyone else!!!!!!! Thank you, Lord!!!!!! She has been such a blessing and help in times when I most need it!!!! I love her sooooooo much!!!!!!!! THANKS FOR ALL THIS AND MORE!!!!!!!!! Luv you sooo much, JESUS!!!!!!!! HELP ME TO TRUST YOU MOST OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ME!!!!!!!!!! WHO I TRULY AM!!!!!!!

Hey everybody!!!!!!!!!
I have always been too shy to actually post anything on here but now after having this blog for over a year and not sharing anything I feel kinda boring and I wanted to spice things up!!!!!!! So all my info isn't exactly necessarily accurate but I wanna keep it to remind me of how much I have changed in the past year! IT'S ABSOLUETLY CRAZY!!!!!!!!! From my dress style, friends, the way I act, and my relationship with God and others!!!!!! It's just crazy. I feel like a totally different person!!!!! But this is who I truly am. I have just been too shy and fearful of rejection to let it out! SO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy the blog and here goes!!!!!!!!!! I think I will kinda make this into a online journal sorta thing.